From cultural expectations to inner freedom: my journey through two arranged marriages

After my first marriage ended, I felt completely broken. Overnight, I stopped being seen as remarkable and instead became “damaged goods.” I was no longer a virgin, no longer the ideal woman that culture and community expected me to be.

It was a devastating time. I was only twenty, still finishing my university degree, and already questioning everything I had been taught about who I was and what my life should look like.

from dreaming to reality

The first marriage: a dream that ended too soon

I had married young, at nineteen. It wasn’t forced – it was simply what was expected of me. Marriage was the natural next step, something deeply ingrained in my cultural and religious upbringing. It felt right at the time, because that was the only path I had ever known.

But the marriage lasted just eleven months. When it ended, I entered one of the darkest chapters of my life. I poured myself into my studies, completed my degree, and stepped into the corporate world as a management consultant. Outwardly, I was building a career. Inwardly, I was still trying to make sense of who I was.

The second marriage: the illusion of stability

At 24, I accepted another arranged marriage proposal. Again, it wasn’t forced. It was how things were done. The process of getting to know someone before marriage was brief – I had to make a life-changing decision after just a few meetings.

We married, and I had a beautiful son. But the cracks began to show. I tried to adapt, to sacrifice, to make everyone around me happy so that life would at least feel bearable. For six years, I did everything I could to keep the peace. But the more I gave, the more was demanded of me.

I became exhausted – emotionally, mentally, spiritually. The constant expectations, the lack of approval, the feeling that no matter what I did, it was never enough. Eventually, I found the courage to leave.

Leaving was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I became a single mother with a four-year-old child, struggling financially and emotionally. I had given up my IT career when my son was born, and rebuilding my life from that point took every ounce of strength I had.

Losing my place – and finding myself

After the separation, I was forced to confront a deep question: If I don’t fit into the cultural, familial, or religious boxes I was raised with, then who am I?

For the first time, I began to examine my own beliefs – to separate what truly belonged to me from what had been conditioned into me. I realised that when everyone around you lives by the same rules, you start to believe that’s the only way to exist.

But once I stepped outside of that, I began to see how much of my life had been shaped by silence, expectation, and fear of disapproval. That’s when my real journey of self-awareness began – learning to build a new norm that felt authentic to who I truly am.

rebirth

The work I do today

Through my own experiences, I’ve come to understand how hard it can be for women to break free from deeply rooted cultural and familial systems. Many of us feel an intense attachment to family approval – afraid that if we express our truth, we’ll lose love or acceptance.

My work now is about helping women create a safe space to explore those inner conflicts – to see clearly the difference between culture and religion, which are often so intertwined that it becomes hard to tell them apart.

I help women dissolve the conditioning that no longer serves them, so they can step into their own power and live in alignment with their truth.

Coming home to myself

My journey has taken me from India to England, through two arranged marriages, and into a life of true intimacy and self-connection. I’ve learned that healing doesn’t mean rejecting everything you came from – it means understanding where your beliefs originated and choosing what still serves you.

We all live complex lives, balancing culture, family, and personal freedom. To be accepted in one area doesn’t mean we must abandon the others. It simply means learning to live consciously – choosing love, peace, and authenticity as our guiding principles.

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Our Maturation Process guides you to a place
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from my clients

Testimonials

I have had 3 sessions of maturation coaching with Shaima. After the initial session I felt like I had a huge release which left me feeling quite open and fragile for a few weeks as it brought awareness to what was hidden. Shaima really coached me through what was coming up over the week and I immediately felt better. Since my third session I have felt a huge shift in myself and the thinking patterns I had held on to and repeated subconsciously for years. These patterns would weigh me down. I feel a sense of lightness and confidence and the thoughts and patterns don’t seem to hold as much power now. I have had therapy, done coaching and tried other methods like TRE, NLP etc but the maturation coaching has been incredible. Shaima just has a naturally deep understanding of how to get to the root and assists you in getting there in a calm, caring manner which really makes you feel held in and after the sessions. I’m so grateful I started this journey and look forward to seeing more growth and benefits from the sessions.

BaharehCosmetologist,UK

Where do I start? They always say sometimes hindsight makes you see that everything was supposed to happen, to lead you to something very good. And this is how I think of it with Shaima coming into my life. She was so much more than a breath of fresh air, and I can see that she has taken on this job because she genuinely wants to help. We grow up reading folklores and watching films on how there are humans disguised as angels – Shaima is most definitely one of them. I’ve had therapy years beforehand, but this was nothing like it where Shaima helped me to identify the root cause of so many patterns; recurring emotions from past incidents, that I didn’t even know affected me. I can already see a big difference from when I first started talking to her. There is a change with my thought patterns and how I approach situations. And this was not because Shaim put labels on me. It was a side by side job, where she helped me to identify all the blocks that was stopping me from leading my life. I physically feel so much lighter after each of my sessions with her. She will literally change your life. Change being the key word, because I started my sessions with her thinking that I knew so much better because it is my life..but the way she challenged me was so different to anything I’ve ever known. She made me feel like anything I want to do is not out of reach. Sessions with Shaima is to come home to yourself, undoing all negativity from the past from each angle, and going on a road to becoming who you want to be. She is an eye opener. It is a little like hiring a Personal Trainer for the mind & spirit. She’ll motivate you turn on your focus and turn off every excuse you’ve given yourself for whatever reason. I was initially heartbroken on my first session. But she made me see that it’s so much more than the heartbreak. And gave me so much tools and advice to work with, so that I don’t have another recycled experience of that heartbreak. Before, I could have seen myself putting the heartbreak experience down to what we would read in Cosmopolitan magazine. But all our actions are down to us for unique reasons. Shsima will help you to see the blind spots, and ultimately be there by your side while you free yourself from the invisible chains.
If you’ve stumbled across Shaima, it’s because you are meant to come into her space as part of healing. Please take that as a sign from the Universe, because every time I speak to Shaima, there is this crazy synchronicity with her voicing what I’ve already been thinking about.

S.RogersCustomer-services

I am so glad my cousin introduced me to Shaima. At first, I was skeptical because I didn’t know what to expect and I also never open myself up to anyone I don’t know, but Shama is such a nice person, friendly and warm person. She has helped me a lot to heal my inner child by just talking and going deep into myself. I have learned a lot, also for my future how to handle difficult situations and how to help myself is a big plus. I feel so much lighter and at peace with myself after only two sessions. It’s like my energy blockage has been removed and I finally understand what was hurting me for so long. My overall health got better and my relationship with myself. can recommend Shaima more than words can say.

RabiaGraphic-designer,Germany

Coaching with Shaima has helped me in such a positive way I can’t really
describe it. You need to experience it to truly understand it.
Since the first session I could see the benefits of it in my day-to-day life. Shaima
guides you to find freedom from your own suffering. This is quite instantaneous.
My favourite part of this process has been discovering the root causes of my
various sufferings and the release in body as well as she helps you identify
where in your body you are feeling the grips of all the hurt and annoyance you
are carrying. I always have this wow moments and my heart full of gratitude to
Shaima after each session as she helps you identify what’s going on within you
with such accuracy. Additionally, Shaima supports you in the two week gap
between each session as various thoughts and emotions surfaces but because
you are now aware and have the new perspective you can see you are living life
in a completely different way- better way!
I recommend this to everyone who has lost hope and lack patience to trust the
process in this journey of realising our highest self.

SamanaSecondery-school-teacher,UK

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